Money.

Why is everyone so hung up on money? More to the point, why am I so against it? I find myself insulted every time someone tries to convince me to do something based on the lure of increased pay or easy money, and I don't understand exactly why.

I'm not a Socialist. I'm not a Communist. These forms of government and so-called equalization of value have proven to be terribly dangerous to personal freedom. Still, I feel that Capitalism leaves a lot to be desired. Every time you pay for some object or service, you are accepting someone else's value system. Supply and demand is the principle which greases the gears of capitalism. Take an item like a television, for instance. You go into the electronics store, and you look at the TVs that are available for purchase. $75 for a 15" generic brand TV, or $25,000 for a state of the art 95" plasma HDTV. Who assigns these prices? Who determines the value of an object? Our society does. Do you really value your television viewing time to the tune of $25,000? Does anyone? Probably not.

Why don't we assign value based on our own personal values, rather than accepting the value that has been placed on an object by people whose values I don't necessarily share? Is there even a way to do that? I don't know. Do I have to forgo television entirely, just to remain true to my own values? That's exactly what I intend to do until I find a better way to live. Television, and everything else that I don't place a very high value on.

I find the very concept of trading life, trading time, for things whose values have been set by my society, to be degrading. I just don't know how to stop it.

One day, I will be free...

I've always had a pretty independent spirit. I don't know why that is, exactly. Somehow, I think my last six years in the US Air Force have only served to exacerbate my need for separation from the routines and dependencies that society has come to accept as normal. I dream of a time when I can exist without the need for anything other than food, water, clothing and information.

Live in a house, an apartment, a duplex? ...Fuck that.

Own a car, a truck, a motorcycle? ...Fuck that.

Addiction to alcohol, drugs, nicotine? ...Fuck that.

Registration, social security, insurance? ...FUCK. THAT.

Remove all dependency. Nothing is permanent. Count on nothing.

I want to exist, not outside the system, but on its fringes. I want to find a different, more direct way to contribute to the mass consciousness. I want to get closer to the source and tap directly into the hive mind of society. I want to become a gnat in the ear of mankind, saying "There is another way to exist", in a voice that cannot be ignored.

How do I break free?

Dream.

I had a dream last night. In this dream, I was leaving work ( though my place of occupation was a lot cooler looking in my dream than it really is ). I changed out of my military uniform, and as I was leaving the locker room I saw a couple of friends in a room watching a movie. I stopped in to say hi.

At this point, there was a fire alarm which meant that everyone in the building had to form up outside. I then realized that I had put a ring into a piercing on my lower lip. I was, of course, late to the formation. Everyone was standing out in the rain, being berated by some chick who really thought she was hot shit, all puffed up with false authority. I knew this chick, and she was pretty worthless. She was yelling at everyone until she saw me roll up all casual like, then she started to rip into me. She was using me as an example for everyone else. She grabbed the lip ring and started to pull.

She asked me several questions about why I showed up to the formation late, where I had been, and whether I was authorized to be there. As she asked these questions, she pulled on the lip ring harder and harder. I was going to make up some bullshit story, but then I had a better idea. I yanked my head back as hard as I could and the ring was ripped right out of my face. My lip was split and bleeding. I told her that she had nothing to use against me now. And then I smiled.

She faltered, and then shrank away to go yell at someone else. At this point, I just walked away from the formation. She yelled after me and asked me where I was going, but I didn't even turn my head. I just flipped her the bird.

Man, what a great dream.

Will the music industry change its mind?

BBC News has a fair-minded article about the attitudes of file-sharers vs. the attitude of the RIAA and other music industry political organizations.

Personally, I don't intend to purchase any major label music until the industry starts selling Non-DRM mp3 or Ogg Vorbis files. I have no problem with paying for music. I routinely pay for albums which I've downloaded first, if I enjoy them. I also routinely purchase indie label CDs. I occasionally burn playlists for or share playlists with friends. I keep my music collection in mp3 format. The mobility and ease of use of digital music has moved me almost entirely away from Compact Discs. Until the music industry clues in to the way I use music, I will not support their endeavors to control my music listening habits.

In short, I value my freedom to control my music far more than I value the success of the music industry. They'd better learn that the customer is always fucking right.

Happiness.

What would make you happy?

The answer to this deceptively simple question can be highly elusive, but most people will give roughly the same answer. "A lasting and worthwhile love. Enough money to bring me comfort. Children. A meaningful job. More money than I'll ever need."




Yeah. I don't buy that.




Each of those goals brings its own problems, and what's more, each of those goals conflicts in some way with all the others.

I'm still trying to figure out what would make me happy, but I do know one thing. I can't be happy if I'm being dragged down by a tangled web of demands upon my time, my energy and my will. So, for the last couple of years I've been systematically removing all demands upon my person. Some demands don't go away. I'll never be free from the needs of the flesh: Food, water, at least some clothing and shelter. Still, I am moving ever closer to what I consider a comfortable level of freedom.

Maybe I'm on the wrong track, but I'll never know unless I try.

Power corrupts.

I was having a political conversation with a co-worker the other day, about the recent uncovering of the NSA database of information on US citizens. This co-worker asked the question: "What's wrong with giving up a little freedom in order to give the government the power to stop terrorists?" This struck me as a horribly ignorant and naive question, but I was unable to quickly formulate a response. I mean, why indeed?

I could have told her to read '1984' or 'V for Vendetta', two excellent, if highly romanticized books on the subject. I could have said "History has proven time and time again that far reaching power given freely is never used in the public interest". Alas, it was not until later that I was visited by L' Esprit de la Escalier. My co-worker's argument was that if she never felt the need to do anything which would raise the ire of the state, why should she be concerned about the steps taken to ensure her security? I pointed out that she could never guarantee that her values or her family's and those of the state would be in alignment, but she did not seem to understand. I was not speaking clearly.

It seemed odd to me that anyone could undervalue freedom to that extent. Still, that seems to be the case in so many of the younger people that I see around me. I suppose that it has always been this way. Those who have an acute sense of history and its cycles are usually those who have tasted loss for themselves at some point, and are generally older people with more experience overall. It struck me once again that we as a species are in fact doomed to repeat history again and again, because with time every memory fades.

File sharing.

The French government has apparently issued a highly contradictory political solution to the file sharing issue. They've proposed to ban copyright infringement, but have also legalized P2P file-sharing. Is this an official stance, or is it simply be an outward sign of the heated intellectual property struggle that is occurring within the culture of nearly every technologically advanced nation today?

This article sheds some light on the weird political situation, and its inevitable and ultimately dismal result.

What freedom means to me.

Freedom is a subject which concerns me very much these days. I intend for this blog to be a place where I can share news of recent events pertaining to civil liberties, as well as express my own opinion on the subject of what defines freedom in my life.