On Free Will and Addiction.

My life is ruled by addiction. There is something in my brain which begs for self-satisfaction every minute of the day. I seek a state of constant euphoria. This has, I have come to realize, shaped the better portion of my world view, as well as the better portion of my day to day behavior over these last twenty nine years. My free will is not so free.

I have begun to detect that there are other ways in which to view the world, which are at least marginally different from my own: A world in which my priorities are not determined by my next fix, of television, of internet surf, of music, of nicotine, of alcohol, of caffeine, of limited social interaction. This is something which I have always been aware of academically, but now I think that I am aware of it emotionally as well.

The problem is that I don't know what such a state of being would look like. What does one replace addiction with? How do I get there?

I do not even know if it is possible to break out of this prison of limited perception. It is as though I have reasoned out the existence of a fourth spatial dimension, and know that I have not the faculties to sense it.